Perhaps the word “cake” is misleading here, as it only has condensed milk, melted butter, cocoa and vanilla but nevertheless, that is what my aunt called it and that is what I shall call it.
I was tidying up a couple of days ago (and I’m tidying again today, I am a very messy person aren’t I?) and found this recipe in the office. I promise I’ll stop with the recipes soon. In fact I think this is the last one. Tomorrow I’m having takeaway, hurray! Though I do still have until Friday until my parents are back, so who knows…
Anyway, this is super, super cocoay (that’s not a word, but pretend it is). Like I can only have a tiny bit at a time, and I’m a veritable food fiend. It also doesn’t look as good as usual as I could only find a cake tin to make it in, as opposed to a box that we used to use so it was almost perfectly smooth on the top.
Broken Biscuit Cake
Ingredients:
- 370g Nice Biscuits broken into pieces in a large bowl (actual Nice biscuits, not just biscuits you think are nice. I’m onto you)
- 280g unsalted butter
- 5-6 heaped tablespoons of cocoa powder though I used 5 not really heaped tablespoons because I’m not hardcore (SIFT THIS WELL INTO A BOWL. I forgot to sift it so lumps got everywhere)
- 1/2 teaspoon vanilla essence
- 395g tin of sweetened condensed milk (my tin was 397g so I used it all, FUCK THE SYSTEM)
This was written by my aunt and I’m just copying it word for word, so that’s why some of it is a bit… determined.
- Melt the butter in a pan.
- Mix vanilla into the melted butter and remove from the heat.
- Add the condensed milk and stir in.
- Add cocoa and stir in well.
- Pour over the biscuits and mix well, so that every surface of the biscuits is coated in the mixture.
- Press this biscuit mixture into a cling film lined container. Very firmly. After pressing the mix must be level with the top of the container. Cover the top surface with cling film. Place a flat object on top and add a heavy weight. This will compress the mixture and soak in the cocoa mix. The best container would be a springform baking pan. Assuming you can get a shallow one. Or perhaps you have a heavy object that exactly fits the standard height. Otherwise it’s a bit of a struggle getting the cake out of the tin without tearing the cling film!
- Refrigerate overnight.
Now this is back to me talking. I kind of… didn’t press it into the tin. That shit is messy, I just let it do its thing and it worked out fine. And my heavy object was a few small plates. So I kind of disobeyed my aunt, but I’m sure she’ll forgive me.
I thought my parents were back on Wednesday or Thursday so I’ve been tidying up. Nope, they’re back on Friday, which means the house will be a mess again because I am a nightmare! Oh well, it always needs a bit of a dust and it kills time so I can’t complain. I’m contemplating going across to Hobbycraft in a bit to see if I can find any photo mounts but I doubt they sell them. I should ask my dad for advice on that, maybe, but I haven’t really told him that I was doing the whole attempting to sell photos but inevitably failing thing because I’m slightly embarrassed about my impending failure. Oh well, que cera cera?
Edit: I alphabetised my DVDs instead! The ones I have, anyway, there are certain ones that I know my siblings have. Underworld is missing, the first one, season 1 and 2 of Supernatural are AWOL, Up seems to have lost its box etc etc.
Before:
After:
